THIS FILE WAS DOWNLOADED FROM MAINBASE BBS (040 - 965819) Malm”, Sweden A superb TEXTFILES BBS FROM UFO MAGAZINE Vol 3, No 2 1988 You won't necessarily find Mike Bershad nor many like him aboard the bandwagon that salutes benevolent ETs and broadcasts a hopeful message about their mission on earth. Mike is "in touch" with another form of entity, and if "they" have any mission, it's an urgent, overriding necessity to plunder human anatomy with speed and calculation. The lives of many abductees distill abruptly into issues of emotional survival. Few are blithe and unaffected by their ordeals in the netherworld, though an individual trauma can be offset by the catharsis of "going public" Abduction has not yet broken free of its identification with myth and hallucination, but the time approaches. For the time being, Mike is content with partial memory. --- "This is the first time I've written about my abduction experience, although I've been written about (see Budd Hopkins' Missing time') My name is not Steve Kilburn (the alias used in the book) but Michael Bershad." "Many people have told me that they'd love to meet an alien or be taken for a ride in a flying saucer. My viewpoint is somewhat different." "The most terrifying thing I've ever encountered was looking into the eyes of one of these 'creatures.' To describe their eyes as black, shiny and oval simply doesn't do them justice. it's true that the eyes lacked an iris, pupils, eyelids, eyelashes. But there was more. I sensed no emotion, no feeling, no humanity, and consequently, no exchange of any understanding whatsoever." "If anyone thinks that an abduction experience is enlightening or fun, think again. I was totally powerless, and was made to comply with whatever they wanted me to do. My slightest thought was monitored, and I was accorded no more respect than a laboratory rat. An examination of my body was made, and I now understand how a frog in a classroom of biology students must feel. But the sheer terror came from the uncertainty of what was to come. Would my heart be removed? Would they pull off a leg, just to see what would happen? I had no way of knowing and they dealt with my questions the way most adults handle children, by humoring me with idiotic platitudes or simply by ignoring me altogether. It's true that I was not physically harmed, but I continue to bear the emotional trauma of this experience even today, many years later." "I do not know that the creatures I saw were 'aliens' or that the object I was taken into was a flying saucer. I simply know what I perceived, from the memory of my hypnotic regressions. The creatures were most assuredly foreign to me; where they were from, I had no idea. The object I was walked into seemed disc-shaped, yet I had no way of knowing if it could fly. These aren't mere semantic quibbles; if any truth is to be ascertained from abductees' stories, the abductees better stick to what they actually experienced and leave 'conclusions' and speculation to the investigators and science fiction writers. Somebody has to bear the responsibility for telling the truth as objectively as possible, and it might as well be those who have had 'the experience' itself. It's hard enough dealing with the abduction; adding bells and whistles only clouds an already muddled issue." "I have never claimed with 100 percent certainty that my hypnotic memory of events is what actually happened to me. But that presents some problems for me, personally." "- When I recounted my story to my parents, I expected them to be incredulous. Quite the contrary. They reminded me of a UFO sighting I told them I had at the approximate time and place of my abduction experience. I was amazed, as I had no recollection of this at all. They found that strange!" "- A licensed polygraph administrator concluded that my test results proved that I hadn't made up the story." "- A highly reputable neurosurgeon told me, after several hours of consultation and examination in his hospital office, that a science 'greater than our own' had examined my body. He also informed me that he had tried to trick me concerning the medical examination that the creatures performed upon me; I was steadfast in my recollections when he questioned me and this upset him. Incidentally, he didn't believe in UFOs." "- The psychologists I dealt with were not convinced that UFO beings carried me off. They were convinced that something external left an extraordinary impression on me. In other words, it wasn't my vivid imagination, as I would have preferred to believe!." "Some time after my hypnotic sessions were over, I had an experience that bears repeating. My wife and I were at a business party in Southampton, N.Y. It was a beautiful summer night, and electric terrace lanterns illuminated the patio and house. After an hour or so, the lights suddenly went out. We noticed the neighbors also were without lights. Most everyone loved the idea, and candles were brought out to enliven the festive atmosphere." "I suddenly grew panicky, very nervous, and headed for a fence at the perimeter of the yard. I became nearly incoherent, mumbling wild things to myself like 'they're coming back for me...they know I've talked..' etc. "I know exactly where to look. Up and off in a distance, perhaps a mile away, a huge, glowing ball of light hung above the tree line. Fortunately my wife followed me and she, too, saw the light. To prove to myself that I wasn't crazy, I insisted that she tell me exactly what she saw, and she told me she saw exactly what I did. The light slowly dipped behind the trees, and moments later the electricity came on again." "Did the light have anything to do with the blackout? I have no way of knowing. No one else at the party was drawn to the edge of the yard, or even saw the light, as far as I know. And my wife implored me to 'keep it quiet,' as these were business clients of hers." "Part of me doesn't want to believe that I was abducted and examined by 'aliens'. but as farfetched as this hypothesis seems, it's more logical than any of the other explanations I've heard. I'm well educated, and I'm aware of what whether balloons and satellites look like; I've also never involved myself with alcohol or drugs. And sadly, I no longer believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus." "But before I die, I pray that I get the answer to this one question: What exactly happened to me that night on Route 40?"