PUBLIC ENEMA PRODUCTIONS!!!! ISSUE #1 By A. Nonomous "This world needs an enema, and we're just the men to do it" Disclaimer: I don't reccomend using the techniches described in this doc, so don't come crying to me if you get caught. This information is presented for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY by way of the first ammendment("BoB" bless America). Besides, we KNOW you would never use any of this... TABLE OF CONTENTS!!! 1-INTRODUCTION 2-HACKING PEPSI MACHINES 3-FREE NATIONAL SPORTSPAPER 4-FREE PHONE CALLS FROM LONG'S DRUGS 5-SODOMY BOXING 6-CONCLUSION Chapter 1-Introduction Howdy for the information of the Public Enema anarchist group. This is my first electronic publication, but not the first phile that I've written and distributed. It's gonna be kinda' weak at first because I'm the only one gathering information and writing articles. Hopefully, other people will join in soon. Look for me(A. Nonomous/The Hare Krishna) on the bay area scene, mostly east bay if you want to contribute. Well, hope you like it... CHAPTER 2-STOP THE pEpSi CONSPIRACY!!!!! Caffine is in Pepsi. Caffine is a drug. Drugs are evil(so sez George). So, by the substitution postulate(I have been paying attention in class!!!) Pepsi=evil. Right???? So is it wrong to steal money from drug dealers??? I didn't think so... MATERIALS: -A guy that's pretty skinny -A knife THAT'S IT!!! OK... First, you have to know where to look. On the bottom right side of the machine there is a little hole. It's located above the base but below the hinges. ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°P°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°E°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°P°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°S°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°I°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°ÛÛÛÛÛ°°°°°°Û Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ <---- You're gonna want to look here... The next step is the hardest part. Reach into the hole and reach up as far as you can. You should feel a vinyl bag. You're going to want to pull this out. THIS IS NOT EASY!!! Be patient. If you work long enuff, it will come. It helps to be skinny(like me)... It might even help to use fishing hooks or some other device to get it out easier, but I'm not sure. Once it's out, all you have to do is chop it open. This is also not easy. My personal preference is to light the bag on fire and melt it a little. This is also kinda' fun. There's nothing like watching a Pepsi machine spew smoke. I know at my school I've made $110 in one night off of 2 machines without any effort at all. On the newer machines, that have the coolin' picture on the front, it's super easy to get free pepsis(but I'm not sure about the money). Just open the flap that the cans come out of and feel around. Usually there are a couple of six packs there for storage. Pull them out of the plastic rings and you're set. Now, you may ask, doesn't this sound too good to be true??? IT'S ALL TRUE!!! That's the incredible part. BTW-This techniche doesn't work on the older machines, just the ones with bubbled fronts and/or chillin' pictures on the front. *NOTE* THIS MAY NOT WORK ON SOME MACHINES! YOU HAVE TO LOOK AROUND FOR ONES THAT WILL WORK... CHAPTER 3-FREE SPORTS PAPER Why you would want this piece of shit paper is beyond me, but hey, for free, why not??? For those of you that have NO idea what I'm talking about, the NATIONAL is a weekly sports newspaper that's distrubed by way of newspaper boxes. These boxes can be found out front of convience stores, BART stations, supermarkets, and on various street corners. Anyway, if you look under the box, you'll find a little slit. Reach in a pull out a paper. It's really that easy. Free papers in seconds!!! *NOTE* THIS ALSO MAY WORK ON OTHER NEWSPAPER VENDING MACHINES! I'VE NOTICED THAT THE LA TIMES HAS THE SAME SET UP... CHAPTER 4-FREE PHONE CALLS FROM LONG'S DRUGS This is an easy/stoopid way of calling people for free from the Payfones outside Long's drugs. It may or may not work on other independently-owned(ie:non PacBell) payfones. It's easy... Just call a 1-800 number, tell them you got the wrong number, and wait for them to hang up. After a short period of time, you will get a dial tone again. PRESTO! Call away! If it doesn't work, then sorry, no free call.... bummer dude. It's always worked for me though... CHAPTER 5-SODOMY BOXING OK, I know this sounds wierd at first, but I couldn't think of a better name. It's to "GET THE PHONE COMPANY UP THE BUTT!!!!"... It's actually a super easy way to get free calls from Northern California(or at least my area)... Ok, what it is is very simple... When PacBell adds another line, they put a grey box somewhere on the side of your house. Open this box(with a screwdriver) and "PRAISE 'BOB'!!!!" it's a phone jack. Everythings provided for... All you need is your own phone and off you go!!! This is great for calling 976/900 numbers and calling phriends that're FAR, FAR away. You could even bring a laptop along if you felt like it... *NOTE* DON'T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN HOUSE!!!!(DUH...) CHAPTER 6-CONCLUSION Welp, I hope you like this issue of the Public Enema Electronic 'Zine... I was originally going to put a picture of J.R. 'BoB' Dobbs in here, but it didn't fit...Hopefully everthing else came out ok... SEEYA!!! X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699 The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674 Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560 "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X