============================================================ The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR") Issue Number 1994-04 April, 1994 ISSN 1072-7159 Key words:science humor,irreproducible results,Ig Nobel ------------------------------------------------------------ The Official Electronic mini-Organ of The Society for Basic Irreproducible Research ------------------------------------------------------------ Produced jointly by The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) and The MIT Museum ============================================================ ----------------------------- 1994-04-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1994-04-01 Table of Contents 1994-04-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*) 1994-04-03 Historic Abstracts from JIR, vol. 13, no. 4, Aug. 1964 1994-04-04 Our Stand on Abortion 1994-04-05 JIR Barnstorming Tour: April schedule ---IMPORTANT!!! 1994-04-06 JIR Recommends 1994-04-07 Calendar of Upcoming Events 1994-04-08 Calls for Papers 1994-04-09 How to Submit Articles (*) 1994-04-10 How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*) 1994-04-11 Yes, please DO make copies! (*) 1994-04-12 Irreproducible Section Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. --------------------------------------- 1994-04-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*) The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results publishes news about overly stimulating research and ideas. Specifically: A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of research news and satire from the Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR). B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel Prizes honor "achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced." A public ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge Massachusetts, every autumn. The ceremony is sponsored jointly by JIR and by the MIT Museum. C) News about other science humor activities conducted by the MIT Museum and JIR. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-04-03 Historic Abstracts from JIR, vol. 13, no. 4, Aug. 1964 [JIR itself is published bi-monthly. In months between issues, this section of mini-JIR will contain historic abstracts from the JIR archives.] Volume 13, number 1, August, 1964 "Why the IgNoble Prize was not Awarded in 1964," by J. Lorch The IgNoble Prize Committee for 1964 was composed of Professors Black, White, and Price. At their first meeting, only one candidate was presented. At the second meeting, the distinguished professors nominated themselves for the Prize. At the third meeting, there appeared a new candidate "whose observations covered many fields, but his conclusions were never properly published, and some were patently irreproducible." As a result, no candidate was found suitable for recommendation. [Unsigned Public Notice] A reward is offered for information leading to the arrest of EDDY CURRENT, charged with induction of an 18-year-old coil, named MILLI HENRY, who was found half choked. CURRENT escaped Weston Primary Cell and was missing since Faraday. "On the Treatment of Annoying But Incontrovertible and Inexplicable Facts," by A Furst This paper proposes the so-called FURST MODIFICATION, which postulates that if one is not sure what to do about data, one should ignore it, or give it a name. "The Aging Investigator," by A. Foraker This is a detailed discussion of the effects of mental menopause, which eventually leads to placing the investigator's name on papers of his professional assistants, or to reading their papers at scientific meetings. "A Rapid Method for Inefficient Inactivation of Mosquitoes," by L'echec Molestus The techniques presented here is to use a soft-bristle broom to squeeze mosquitoes congregating on the ceiling. Alternatively, one can use a pillow which is thrown upwards. A side effect of the use of the pillow method, in addition to the reduction of the equatorial dimensions of the author's body, is the appearance of some interesting red patterns on the ceiling." "Peculiar Relationships Between Authors and the Subject of Their Studies," by A. Kohn It appears that often a scientists choice of what to study is associated with his name. Classical examples of such a correlation are provided by Lord Brain, who reviewed brain mechanisms, and Fox, who was psychoanalyzed dogs with Oedipus complexes. Goodheart was interested in toplessness in females, and Glascock produced a book on isotopic gas analysis for biochemists. For those versed in German, it might be interesting that Professor Fleisch wrote a book on proper nutrition. "Improvement and Deletion of Memory," by (?) The author claims that he has administered sublethal doses of strychnine to human volunteers (school children) and found that a significant improvement of memory was observed among the survivors. ---------------------------------------------- 1994-04-04 Our Stand on Abortion Where We Stand With recent advancements in medicine and biology it is now possible to push back the time of a safe abortion. Because of this, and its impact on society, it is important that scientists take a stand on exactly how late an abortion should allowed. We propose 18 years. We also commissioned a public opinion survey, the results of which are presented here: * * * The Abortion Controversy A Public Opinion Survey by Aaron K. Lish, Ph.D. The Institute for Public Acknowledgment Background We undertook a definitive survey of American public opinion about the abortion controversy. Previous attempts to measure the public's views about abortion have all been flawed or otherwise inadequate. In the United States, abortion has become an increasingly divisive issue. An accurate assessment of public opinion could have profound effects on the country's political and moral climate. The Survey Question We surveyed 41,000 adults. The survey consisted of one question: Do you support the abortion controversy? (yes or no) Results of the Survey We tabulated the responses according to criteria of gender, age, religious affiliation, and political affiliation. [A detailed graphical interpretation of the data appears in section 1994-04-12 below.] Male: 13% YES 76% NO 11% UNDECIDED Female: 76% YES 13% NO 11% UNDECIDED Ages 18-50: 59% YES 32% NO 9% UNDECIDED [Note: In order to conform with recent Supreme Court interpretations of U. S. laws, we have destroyed all data for the age group 51-64.] Ages 65 and above: 23% YES 21% NO 56% UNDECIDED Protestant: 83% YES 12% NO 5% UNDECIDED Catholic: 12% YES 83% NO 5% UNDECIDED Jewish and/or Moslem 43% YES 42% NO 5% UNDECIDED Other religeous affiliation, no religious affiliation, or illegible: 3% YES 3% NO 94% UNDECIDED Republicans: 32% YES 62% NO 4% UNDECIDED Democrats: 62% YES 32% NO 4% UNDECIDED Independents: 33% YES 33% NO 34% UNDECIDED Libertarians: 98%YES 2% NO 0% UNDECIDED Analysis and Conclusion The American public is deeply divided on the abortion controversy. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-04-05 JIR Barnstorming Tour: April schedule ---IMPORTANT!!! In honor (?) of the new JIR book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble," (see section 1994-04-10 below) we will be barnstorming North America doing JIR readings/seminars/slide shows. **************************************************************** * This is a partial list. * For the most up-to-date schedule * please send a polite e-mail message to: BOURBAKI@NEU.EDU **************************************************************** Thursday, Mar 31, 3:00 U CHICAGO Kersten Physics Teach Center (KPTC) 102 Friday, Apr 1, 3:00 NORTHERN ILLINOIS U, Dekalb Physics Dept. Sat., Apr. 2, 7:00 SCI-FI MINI-CON, Bloomington, MN Radisson South Hotel Wed., Apr. 6, noon BROOKHAVEN NAT'L LAB, Upton NY Berkner Auditorium Thurs., Apr. 7, 1:00 LEGENT CORP, Jersey City, NJ Thurs., Apr. 7, 4:00 COLUMBIA PRESBYTERIAN MEDICAL CTR, NYC Hammer Health Sciences Center, room 401 Thurs., Apr. 7, 7:00 NEW YORK MENSA, NYC Soldiers', Sailors' & Airmen's Club 37th and Lexington ** special guest host: MARILYN VOS SAVANT Fri., Apr. 8, 6:00 CORNELL UNIV. MEDICAL CENTER, NYC 1300 York Ave. at 69th St., room A 106 Sat., Apr 9, 2:00 BRYN MAWR Park Science Center, room 243 Sun., Apr. 10, 2:00 FRANKLIN INSTITUTE, Philadelphia 20th and The Parkway Musser Choices Forum Mon., Apr. 11, 10:00 ARMY RESEARCH FORUM, Washington, DC Mon., Apr. 11, noon ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY, Washington, DC EPA Auditorium, EPA Education Center 401 M Street, SW Tues., Apr. 12, noon CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE OF TECHNOLOGY ASSESSMENT Washington, DC Tues., Apr. 12, TBA NIH ANIMAL CENTER Wed., Apr. 13, noon LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, Washington, DC Wed., Apr. 13, 6:00 MARY WASHINGTON COLLEGE, Fredricksburg, VA Thurs., Apr. 14, 12:30 NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH, Bethesda, MD Masur Auditorium Thurs. Apr. 14, 6:00 HORN POINT ENVIRONMENTAL LAB, Cambridge, MD Fri., Apr. 15, 7:00 MEMPHIS STATE U Psychology Auditorium Sat., Apr. 16, TBA TECHNICON SCI-FI CONVENTION, VIRGINIA TECH, Blacksburg, Virginia Mon., Apr. 18, TBA CEBAF NATIONAL LAB, Newport News, VA Thurs., Apr. 21, TBA OHIO STATE U, Columbus [Some previous stops on the tour: POWELL'S TECHNICAL BOOKS, Portland, OR; UNIV. OF PORTLAND; MICROSOFT, Redmond, WA; UNIV. of WASHINGTON, Seattle; UC BERKELEY; 3DO, Redwood City, CA; "WEST COAST LIVE" (NPR)] DRESS Lab coats are suggested, but by no means required. ::::: THE SECOND LEG: invite us to your place!! The second leg of the tour is being organized right now. If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Irreproducible Science Event for 50 or more people at your city, university, hospital, research center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP please contact: Lisa Bernstein, Workman Publishing, 708 Broadway, NY, NY 10013 (212) 614-7505 FAX:(212) 254-8098 itlhappen@aol.com ::::: CALLING ALL JIR AUTHORS!! If you are a JIR author and/or if you want to read, shout, or otherwise present your irreproducible research results at one of these events, please contact Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu) as soon as possible. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-04-06 JIR Recommends Research reports that merit a trip to the library: "Fatalities Attributed to Entering Manure Waste Pits," (unsigned), Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, vol. 42, no. 17, May 7, 1993, pp. 325-329. (Thanks to Mack Barham for bringing this to our attention.) "Object-Oriented Retrieval System for the Johns Hopkins Autopsy Database," by G. W. Moore, G. M. Hutchins, and J. J. Berman, Medinfo 92 [Conference proceedings]. (Thanks to Michael Power for bringing this to our attention.) ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-04-07 Calendar of Upcoming Events ::::: "Crazy After Calculus" An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from prehistoric times through the present day. The MIT Museum 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA (617) 253-4422 (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu) ::::: 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony Thursday evening, October 6, 1994 at MIT in Cambridge, Massachusetts. You are cordially invited to attend. You are also invited to submit nominations for this year's Ig Nobel Prizewinners. ------------------------------------------ 1994-04-08 Calls for Papers CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1994 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced. CALL FOR PAPERS for a special issue on: "The Nematode." Please submit research results only, not speculative essays. CALL FOR ESSAYS for JIR's "Worst Science Teacher Competition." Essays must be 300 words or less, explaining how and why, despite the competition, your nominee is the world's worst science teacher. Please enclose any photographs, diagrams, or other evidence that might bolster your case. All entries become the property of JIR. The winning essayist and the worst teacher will both be invited to attend the 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony at their own expense. [A stilted note for incurably serious readers: the underlying purpose of this competition is to publicize the importance of GOOD science teachers!] ---------------------------------------- 1994-04-09 How to Submit Articles (*) Since 1955, The Journal of Irreproducible Results has been the publication of record for overly stimulating research and ideas. JIR publishes original articles, news of particularly egregious scientific results, and short notices of satiric and humorous intent. The editors look forward to receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays, drawings, etc. Please do not send biological samples. Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length. The entire manuscript should be typed double-spaced on standard white bond paper, with generous margins all around, and submitted with a photocopy. Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format. Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge receipt of manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE. Before you submit an article to The Journal of Irreproducible Results, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE skim through a recent issue to see the typical length and format of JIR articles. At the same time, please read the "Information for Contributors" notice in any issue of JIR. Articles may be submitted to: Marc Abrahams, editor The Journal of Irreproducible Results c/o Wisdom Simulators P.O. Box 380853 Cambridge, MA 02238 USA Telephone number for editorial matters: (617) 491-4437 A list of arbitrary suggestions for authors can be obtained by sending a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE to the same address. E-mail address for editorial questions: jir@mit.edu --------------------------- 1994-04-10 How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*) mini-JIR The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results is an electronic publication, available over the Internet, free of charge. It is distributed as a LISTSERV application. We expect to publish 6-12 issues per year. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either of these addresses: LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU or LISTSERV@MITVMA The body of your message should contain ONLY the words "SUBSCRIBE MINI- JIR" followed by your name. Here are two examples: SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Irene Curie Joliot SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Nicholai Lobachevsky To stop subscribing, send the following message to the same address: SIGNOFF MINI-JIR To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-JIR To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying which issue you want. For example, to retrieve issue 93-00002, send this message: GET MINI-JIR 93-00002 If you have questions about how to subscribe, or if you would like to re-distribute mini-JIR, please send e-mail to: mgeller@mit.edu [PLEASE NOTE: if you are regularly posting mini-JIR on your gopher, WWW, news group or mailing list, please drop an e-mail note to mgeller@mit.edu so that we can include a complete list in future issues -- thanks!] The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) JIR is a print publication published six times per year. JIR is written by scientists from around the world, and read by subscribers in 41 countries. To subscribe, send payment to: By phone: (800) 759-6102 or (617) 876-7000 By FAX: (617) 876-7022 (include credit card info) By mail: The Journal of Irreproducible Results c/o Wisdom Simulators, P.O. Box 380853 Cambridge, MA 02238 USA Rates for a year's subscription: U.S. individuals $21 libraries $40 Canada, Mexico individuals $27.50 libraries $46 Elsewhere individuals $43 libraries $62 For multiple gift rates, please call Books "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further improbabilities): More of the Best of The Journal of Irreproducible Results," Marc Abrahams, editor Workman Publishing, New York, 1993. ISBN 1-56305-312-8 "The Best of the Journal of Irreproducible Results," George H. Scherr, editor Workman Publishing, New York, 1983. ISBN 0-89480-595-9 Both of the above are available in most libraries and bookstores, and from the MIT Museum (617) 253-4462. "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente," George H. Scherr, editor Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1986 "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente II," George H. Scherr, editor Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1989 ISBN 3-8105-1714-3 --------------------------- 1994-04-11 Yes, please DO make copies! (*) You have permission to send copies of mini-JIR, or excerpts from it, to anyone who might be interested. The only limitations are: A) Please include this section, or in some other way clearly indicate that the material appeared in mini-JIR and is reprinted with permission. B) You do NOT have permission to copy this document for commercial purposes. The contents of this document are copyright (c) 1994, Marc Abrahams. For subscription information, send e-mail to: jir@mit.edu ---------------- The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR") Editor: Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu) Technical Brains: Marilyn Geller (mgeller@mit.edu) Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick --------------------------------------------------------------------