If the fourth dimension is time, can I define a 4 dimensional array in a computer language, display it, fill it, do some odd rotation with it, and have the numbers I filled it with after I displayed it show up when I display it? (Ie, send numbers into the past?) How would I test that, knowing the numbers (having displayed it before I filled it)? This seems like an extremely M00sey question... Anyway, the idea came to me one night after eating a Subway Club with Extra Jalepinos (I'm mildly allergic to Jalepinos, and they make me somewhat...Buzzing... Kind of like eating Hash brownies...). I thought, "If the fourth dimension is Time, and my computer can define a 4 Dimensional array, can I use my computer to send messages back through time". The idea would be to put numbers on the visible faces of a 4D array and rotate them in such a way that they would go back through time. I've the concept down now, but testing leads to a little difficulty -- if I print the array out first, I then know what numbers were in there before and, well... paradoxes up the behind.... Maybe someone out there in M00seland can come up with a good way to test this, but I don't want to mess with 4D arrays anyway, as I have enough troubles with 2 and 3 d arrays. Indexing becomes a bit complex.... array[x][y][z][WHAT] <- See? Still, it is a neat idea... -GreyfoxM00se -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heinously Late Issue - Heinously Late Issue - Heinously Late Issue - Heinously L -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _ /\ _ _ /\ _ / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ \_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/ / \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \ / \__/ \ M M M 0// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \ /__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\ DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S DDDD R R OOOO P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE M00SE ILLUMINATI Issue #39| Disclaimer: The Editors will place almost anything in |Mar. 21, 1990 ---------- this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill the -------------- issue, so don't blame them for the quality or content of the submissions. Except -ing those they may have written themselves, the enclosed items do not in any way represent the Editors' fnord opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say that as far as this newsletter is concerned, they have no opinions at all. OK? ================================================================================ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ************************************* STAFF ************************************ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Editor - Patrick Salsbury (Never gets issues out on time.) Submissions to: DangerM00se (What a slug.) Back issue requests: Max Handelsman and Johnathan Clemens or AND Joanne Rosenshein M00se List updates and changes: Herschm00se the Beanmeister (This space to let): Contact WarM00se BRANDYM00SE contacted me, now she gets to be mentioned here. Wouldn't you like to be a pepper, too? :) (Who's paying this guy, anyway?) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS **************************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Howdy! Yes. I know it's late. Yes. I know it's VERY late. But it's here now, ain't it? :) Sorry I've been so lax. My life has been a sine wave of late. Just when things are going really well, something comes along and screws everything up. Why is the header not the first thing in the issue? Well, time for something different.....Python does it, why can't we? Anyway, Happy Spring! On with the stuff!..... -Pat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hey! Check this out, man! U.S. Law say I cannot buy booze, being under 21, right? "Eeen Dees Country, I am too young to drink Wodka." or something like that. Anyway, same U.S. law say nothing about me buying 1) Grape Juice 2) Sugar 3) Yeast Hmm, says the Organic chemest. You know what happens when you put that lot together under the right conditions? You guessed it. A truly second rate wine suitable for a frat party or whatever! And who said eddycation never pays? 'Course, it's not legal for you to put them together under the right conditions... But what are they gonna do? Bust into your house, see this shit in your closet, card you, and haul you off to the state penn? I somehow doubt it. Anyway, if you does it right, and bottles it right, and let it sit for a few months, it actually gets better! I have a half-bottle of 4-month old homemade wine (Was a whole bottle yesterday ;-) that is actually quite tasty if a bit sweet (I put too much sugar in, I think). It was AWEFUL three months ago. Really aweful. Cloudy, grody, y'know... But most of the crud settled out sometime during the 4 months. Neat trick that. Anyway, I have the recipe about, if anyone wants it. It takes a couple of weeks to ferment, and it (the recipe) is mainly a template from which you can deviate quite severely if you wish (to go blind :-) Seriously, though, I've deviated from in so severly as to use Bicarrdi Strawberry Daiquery stuff (It comes in a can as frozen concentrate) to make a strawberry wine. That was pretty good too, but it was too active to keep around (It somehow carbonated itself, and would shoot out like the bottle had been shaken... strawberry wine all over the place. No fun). -GreyF0xM00se - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - From: The Twiglit Zone Attention all M00se: The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, please go to the white zone. Attention all M00se: The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, please go to the white zone. That's the white zone. The red zone is not for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload do not go to the red zone. The plaid zone is not for loading. If you have to load, please don't go to the plaid zone. Please do not go to the green zone, and do not even think about loading or unloading in the yellow zone if you know what is good for you. Loading and unloading is permissible in the pink zone on alternate days provided the name of the month does not end in Q, P or R. If the name of the month does, in fact, end in Q, P or R, loading and unloading is not permissible in the pink zone; neither is it permissible in the blue, orange or red zones. The beige zone may be for loading or unloading, however, not on the first date. All in all, the white zone is your safest bet. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, please go to the white zone. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - With snail mail rates going up, someone will probably eventually think that maybe a computer net could be used to send a large amount of text mail... Hmmm... Nah! It'll never happen ;-) -GreyF0xM00se -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ******************************* EVENTS AND NEWS ******************************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- According to Purdue's newspaper, "The Exponent," this week has been officially declared National Orgasm Week by Rodger Libby, a sociologist and social psychologist. Libby says we need Orgasm Week "because we need positive news about sex. Over the past few years the media has given sex a bad name, and I want to present good news about sex." This week, Libby will be delivering humorous lectures on the subject as well as passing out condoms, lubricants, and pins which read "I Came for National Orgasm Week." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I seem to recall in a not so distant issue of M00se Dr0ppings, that someone mentioned the pandemonium of getting a rubber stamp together that said something to the effect of: THIS BILL HAS BEEN RECLAIMED BY THE U.S. TREASURY DEPT. FOR DESTRUCTION. DO NOT HONOR. IT IS NO LONGER LEGAL TENDER. And then going around stamping all the $$$ we could lay our hands on. Feeding $1 bills into change machines, and then getting more bills for the change, stamping them, and feeding them in, ad infinitum. Well, one of the questions raised was "Where can we get them?" My fellow m00ses, that question has been answered. I now work for the Cole Key Company, in the Maine Mall, in South Portland. One of my jobs is key carving, and another is the fashioning of rubber stamps. Right there in the store. I've already made my first prototype. I will gladly make copies for any and all m00ses interested in this wonderfully heinous mischief. The total cost for the stamp is $5.00. Tax here is 5%, adding another $.25. Postage is close enough to $1 to make no nevermind, so the total cost for an official unofficial m00se illuminati havoc stamp is $6.25, payable either cash or check, whichever is most convenient. Please send to the following address ASAP: pay to the order of: Jeff Cavanaugh University of Southern Maine Room 253 Hastings Hall Gorham, ME 04038 Please send payment soonest, and I'll send stamp soonest as well. Happy government toppling to everyone, and bl00pski!!!! Mitya the Red M00se p.s. Pat and I have decided that t'would be best to use black ink for our stamps as opposed to red, since WE don't want to be caught at this, knowhuttamean, Vern..? Enjoy, and bl00p away! MtRM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ***************************** FICTION AND POETRY ******************************* -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The time:Some time in the twenty third century The Place:The USS Enterprize Spock has just found out that pizza with anchovies makes him trip. Kirk: Bones! What's wrong with Spock? Spock: 'sssh nodhing wrong, capt'n, baby. McCoy: It sounds like he's on drugs... McCoy holds up his tricorder and scanner. Tricorder: WHIRRRRRRRR WHIRRRRRR WHIRRRRRR McCoy(Examining the tricorder): I'm not getting anything, though. Spock: Oh, wow, man, the walls are breathing... McCoy: Damnit, Jim! I think he's tripping. We'd better get him to sick bay. Kirk: What caused it? McCoy: What has he eaten recently? Spock: pizzah with anchovies and a side order of tribble juice. McCoy: He's drunk tribble juce before, so it must be the Pizza. Spock: Oh wow man, where's my shades? McCoy: Damnit, Jim! He's getting worse... Will the Enterprize ever be the same? Will Spock become a habitual Pizza and (Ugh!) anchovies user? Will all the tribble juice suddenly dissappear? Will I ever be able to turn out a FUNNY bar trek? -GreyfoxM00se - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - From: GR4302@SIUCVMB.BITNET Subject: Randomly Generated Poetry (Wyrd oft nereth unfaegne...) I programmed a small fast spinning database for glosses (easy to do on the right machine), then gave it the 200+ most common words in the Anglo-Saxon corpus (with MdnE glosses), indulged the machine in a variety of artsy software, then went back to the database and spun it like slot machine or randomly thrown Tarot, and received the following poetry: Warrior, take thy journey creation long; An Artifice falls, bloodies all heaven; Measure much, choose when to Ask, sit, thy bow let rest. Allow worthy wrath against grasping rule. Do thy wood work. Do not fail or lose the way. Someone must protect the earth there-- Blood comes when some choose so much. I wonder what R.A. Wilson would think? Jeff T. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - From: Jonathan Held There was this keyboard. On this keyboard there was lots of little keys. Each of the keys would sit and sit all day long. It was quite a boring place to live. Then one day, U heard from Y who heard from T who heard from R who heard from E about S. S was an amazing key. She had curves that U would kill for. U knew that he could never really get close to S because all of the other keys were so crowded in that he couldn`t squeeze through to meet her. U was very discouraged for a really really really long long long time. He thought about S more and more, though he had never even met her. He decided that he had to see her, he just had to. So he began his planning. A week later, he began his long trek over to S. First, he leaned over and beat Y right into the keyboard. Now, he was getting somewhere. U crawled over next to T, who was looking more and more scared every second. U grabbed T by his shoulders, and flung him right off the keyboard. The next obstacle was R. R was a mean, rough tough bully. He kicked and punched at U, trying not to let him through. However, U had his emotions backing him up. He swung back at R, bouncing him up over the number row. Finally at E, U lashed out as hard as he could knocking E right into W and killing them both. The rest of the keys were quite appalled at such behavior, all except for S. S was really impressed by U`s strength and perseverence, and was very flattered by the whole situation. Finally, U and S were together. The only problem is, certain words were totally out of the question: you can`t spell TRY, RETRY, WET, WETTER, TREE, or WERE anymore. But we`ve still got US. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *************************** M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE **************************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (this text is taken from Kathy Glomski on talk.religion.newage in News) THE LESSON Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them around him, he taught them saying, Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven Blessed are the meek Blessed are they that mourn Blessed are the merciful Blessed are they that thirst for justice Blessed are you when persecuted Blessed are you when you suffer Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven.... Then Simon Peter said, 'Do we have to write this down?' And Andrew said, 'Are we supposed to know this?' and Phillips said, 'What if we don't know it?' And Bartholemew said, 'Do we have to turn this in?' and John said the other disciples didn't have to learn this and Judas said, 'What does this have to do with real life?' Then one of the Pharisees present asked to see Jesus' lesson plans and another inquired of Jesus his terminal objectives in the cognitive domain. A third chastised him for failing to include an anticipatory set. And Jesus wept..... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ******************************* MEET THE M00SES ******************************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: SFROBE@CLEMSON.BITNET Subject: New Chapter Info Official M00SE Corespondence _ /\ _ / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ From: Stephen Roberts \_____/ () \_____/ President of the Stephen Roberts Chapter of / \ of The M00SE Illuminati / \__/ \ /__________\ Dear Fellow M00se, I received your posting about the M00se illuminati and immediately became a convert. Since there were no known existing chapters on the Clemson campus, I preceded to declare my self a member, and immediately came up with a silly, meaningless initiation ceremony with which I could initiate myself. Since that time, I have strived to reach the ideals of M00sehood and spread the conspiracy to as many new chapters as possible. As of this date, I have personally presided over the opening of five new chapters here at Clemson. The M00se is reaching out across our campus, slowly now, but with increasing speed. Already, the SIGN is appearing across campus on boards and signs. Confusion and bewilderment posseses the minds of the masses. Below is the list of new chapters. Unfortunately, only one can be reached by e-mail (other than myself). Chapter name Presiding Bull Moose E-mail address Stephen F Roberts Stephen F Roberts SFROBE@CLEMSON Robert F Nelson Robert F Nelson RFNELSO@CLEMSON Ted Collins Ted Collins Joe Wintz Joe Wintz Gary Ulmer Gary Ulmer All of our new chapters would be interested in receiving a copy of M00se Droppings, and anxiously await our first copy. Thank you for enlightening me and our new throng. Bloop, Stephen F Roberts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE *************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have to get the latest one from HERSCHM00se. I'll send it along when I get it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heinously Late Issue - Heinously Late Issue - Heinously Late Issue - Heinously L --------------------------------------------------------------------------------