Open letter to Tax Payers. Dear Tax Payers: The only thing the Internal Revenue Service has not taxed is your Pecker. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is employed but operates in the hole. Furthermore, it has two dependents and they are both nuts. Accordingly, after March 1, 1986, your Pecker will be taxed, based on its size, using the Pecker-Checker Scale. Determine your category and insert the additional tax under "Other Taxes", Page 2, Part V, line 69 of your Standard Income Tax Return. PECKER - CHECKER SCALE 10-12 inches* / Luxury Tax............... $50.00 8-10 inches / Pole Tax................. $25.00 6-8 inches / Privilege Tax............ $15.00 4-6 inches / Nuisance Tax............. $ 5.00 * Males with peckers in excess of 12 inches should be filed under "Capital Gains". NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR EXTENSION ! Very truly yours, Your Tax Woman X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm) & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845 The Salted Slug Strange 408-454-9368 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102 Tomorrow's 0rder of Magnitude Finger_Man 415-961-9315 My Dog Bit Jesus Suzanne D'Fault 510-658-8078 New Dork Sublime Demented Pimiento 415-566-0126 Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives, arcane knowledge, political extremism, diverse sexuality, insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS. Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are, where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother. "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X