Undocumented 8088/8086/80286/80386 Instruction Set 
 
Assembler programs are written with short abbreviations 
called MNEMONICS, in other words instead of writing GOTO, 
the programmer writes JMP or even BRA (branch).  These 
instructions are frequently abbreviated into total 
incomprehensibility. 
 
Of course, we all know that abbreviations are arbitrary.  
Anyone who has spent any time programming in assembler knows 
that all computers can be programmed using an undocumented 
set of instructions.  Frequently when an error is made 
writing a program in assembler, a user can actually see the 
program executing the undocumented instructions. 
 
	These instruction vary from machine to machine, but all 
computers have a certain set of them in common.  As a 
service to humanity, I am here revealing these common 
instructions for the first time. 
 
ARG	Agree to Run Garbage 
BDM	Branch and Destroy Memory 
CMN	Convert to Mayan Numerals 
DDS	Damage Disk and Stop 
EMR	Emit Microwave Radiation 
ETA	Emulate Toaster Oven 
FSE	Fake Serious Error 
GSI	Garble Subsequent Instruction 
GQS	Go Quarter Speed 
HEM	Hide Evidence of Malfunction 
IDD	Inhale Dust and Die 
IKI	Ignore Keyboard Input 
IMU	Irradiate and Mutate  User 
JPF	Jam Paper Feed 
JUM	Jeer at User Mistake 
KFP	Kindle Fire in Printer 
LNM	Launch Nuclear Missiles 
MAW	Make Aggravating Whine 
NNI	Neglect Next  Instruction 
OBU	Overheat and Burn if Unattended 
PNG	Pass Noxious Gas 
QWF	Quit Working Forever 
QVC	Question Valid Command 
RWD	Read Wrong Device 
SCE	Simulate Correct Execution 
SDJ	Send Data to Japan 
TTC	Tangle Tape and Crash 
UBC	Use Bad Chip 
VDP	Violate Design Parameters 
VMB	Verify and Make Bad 
WAF	Warn After Fact 
XID	eXchange Instruction with data 
YII	Yield to Irresistible Impulse 
ZAM	Zero All Memory