_ | \ | \ | | \ __ | |\ \ __ _____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________ | ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ | | | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | | | | /________/ | | / / /________/ | | | | | | / / | | | | | |/ / | | | | | | / | | | | | / | | | | |_/ | | | | | | | | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | | | |________________________________________________________________| | |____________________________________________________________________| ...presents... A Child's Garden of Curses by Lady Carolin >>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<< -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- ____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____ |____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____| It struck me as I leafed through my battered, cherished copy of Mother Goose that children's literature lacks reality. Fantasy abounds in books and poems for children; fanciful flights of the imagination which only tells children they CAN, not that they WILL. While a few rhymes and poems for children have roots in morbidity or contain thoughts about death and dismemberment ("Rock a Bye Baby" is a prime example), it is my contention that not enough knowledge about daily life is gained by them. Children need to learn about death, to face up to it so they will not be afraid. Without a comfortable relationship with Death and Morbidity, children will be crippled throughout their future lives, unable to cope with reality. Children need to understand just how fragile their lives are, so that they may enjoy every day as it comes, as if it were their last. Therefore I present to you this offering of reworked poems, rhymes and songs for both young and old alike to enjoy and cherish. Children of all ages can benefit from this collection of morbid tales. The following rhymes are excellent for nursery stories, bedtime lullabies, learning-to-read primers, and family campfire ditties. I encourage you to pass them down from generation to generation, as the ancients did, in an oral tradition of death and destruction that must not be allowed to be forgotten. ______________________________________________________________________________ Jack and Jill ------------- Jack and Jill went up the hill to find a cow to slaughter. Jack kissed Jill and Jill raped Jack and then the police caught her. Pat A Cake ---------- Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker's man. Bake a big cake as quick as you can. Stuff it with roadkill and mark it with B Put it in the oven for Baby and Me. Lucy Locket ----------- Lucy Locket lost her pocket Kitty Fisher stole it. Nothing in it, nothing in it, but the condom 'round it. Georgy Porgy ------------ Georgy Porgy, stabbing an eye, Raped the girls and made them cry. When the cops came out that day Georgy Porgy ran away. The Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe --------------------------------- There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. And all of her children she beat black and blue. She fed them raw flesh without any bread. She whipped them all bloody until they were dead. Pease Porridge Please --------------------- Pease porridge hot, Pease porridge cold. Dead baby in the pot, Nine days old. Some like them hot; Some like them cold. All like them to be shot, Nine days old. Cock Horse ---------- Ride a cock-horse to Banbury cross, To see an old lady upon a white horse. With ropes on her fingers and chains on her toes She shall have coffins wherever she goes. -- From Mother Goose ______________________________________________________________________________ A Thought --------- It is very nice to think The world so full of meat and drink With little children saying grace In every Satan kind of place. The Cow ------- The friendly cow all red and white, I love with all my heart. She bleeds and groans all through the night I want to stab her through the heart. Good And Bad Children --------------------- Children, you are very little And your bones are very brittle If you would grow big and tall Down those stairs you mustn't fall. You must be still, bright and quiet, And content with simple diet. Blood of corpses for your drink, Flesh from infants, don't you think? Morbid hearts and sorrowed faces, Nasty play in hidden places. You will die soon do you know? If you down the stairs I throw. Cruel children, crying babies Frothing mouths are caused by rabies, I hate you as your age increases; Chop you up; now rest in pieces. -- From Robert Louis Stevenson ______________________________________________________________________________ The following classical traditional children's rhyme stands perfect as it was written originally. I present it here uncorrected, unabridged. It was used for many years by children as a charm to protect themselves from the Black Plague. The flowers children carried in their pockets had many uses - as an herbal, medicinal attempt to stay infection, as a symbolic representation of life and fertility, as a fetish by which to gain power, or the flowers were also used as a sort of talisman or amulet against evil. Ring around the rosies, Pocket full o' posies, Gashes, Ashes, we all fall DOWN! ______________________________________________________________________________ Playground ---------- Side by side the graves do lay As I walk through the graveyard on this lovely day. I look down in wonder, and what do I see? A grave with my name on it, waiting for me. Two Naughty Boys ---------------- Johnny Piper found a gun, Tommy Cooper shot it. Johnny Piper lies here dead; Never would have thought it. Stealey Dan ----------- A boy on the playground today stole my shoe. When I asked for it back He said "Fuck you!" I beat him and shot him and knifed him clear through. He won't steal from me again I think, don't you? Lullabye -------- Hush little baby, Don't you cry. There are monsters in the closet And witches in the sky. Hush little baby don't stay awake. Grim Reaper's coming soon for your soul to take. Hush little baby, don't you cry. You won't wake up in the morning because you're going to die. Hush little baby, try to sleep Your coffin is awaiting you Six feet deep. Willy Nilly ----------- He touched me where I did not want him And now my ghost comes back to haunt him. He murdered me because I scorned him. He hacked and slashed; My blood adorned him. I will return; I should have warned him. Playtime -------- My dad was offed by decapitation. I killed my mom by incineration. I ate and ate with great fascination. Rotting, flesh wasted; procrastination. And now I'm left with Self-mastication. Fuzzy Little Bunny ------------------ Hop, hop, little bunny! Fuzzy little bunny! Jump, jump, little bunny! Fuzzy baby bunny! Run, Run, little bunny! Cuddly fuzzy bunny! Hide, hide, little bunny! Funny fuzzy bunny! Bang, bang, little bunny! Fuzzy bloody bunny! Die, die, little bunny! Rigor mortis bunny! Rot, rot, little bunny! Fuzzy wormy bunny! -- From various sources ______________________________________________________________________________ My Granny --------- My grandma died right in her bed. I crawled right in and sniffed her head. I tasted her lipstick and took off her shoes. I bit off her nose, then I told Mom the news. So Mom came in and saw her there; Mom combed her head 'til it was bare. Her hair we saved to feed the cat And on my granny's face we spat. I liked her dress so we took it away, Wrapped Granny in blankets; less messy that way. We took her rings and necklace of blue. Mom garnered her girdle and put that on too. We poked her teeth to get the gold, And under her armpits we scraped for mold. I peeked in her undies and thought I'd be sick. Mom poked at her bottom with a great big long stick. Mom looked at the cupboard, so very bare. "I think there's enough, and plenty to spare! And a bone for the dog, or two or three." I just hope she cooks up plenty for me! "All these years, how big these ears! Go heat up the stove, My little dears.." Mom carved up her spleen, and scooped out her eyes. "This is for pastry, this is for pies," Now we can silence our hungry cries, Thanks to our granny's very timely demise." Amen. Jump Rope --------- 1, 2, 3, Die with me. 4, 5, 6, Sharpen some sticks. 7, 8, 9, On corpse we'll dine. 9, 8, 7, Ain't goin' to heaven. 6, 5, 4, Open hell's door. 3, 2, 1, This poem's done. -- With help from Madame Spleen _______ __________________________________________________________________ / _ _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842| ((___)) |Cool Beans!..........510/THE-COOL|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362| [ x x ] |Ripco................312/528-5020|Moody Loners w/Guns.415/221-8608| \ / |The Works............617/861-8976|Finitopia...........916/673-8412| (' ') |Lunatic Labs.........213/655-0691|ftp - ftp.eff.org in pub/cud/cdc| (U) |==================================================================| .ooM |Copr. 1993 cDc communications by Lady Carolin 03/01/93-#220| \_______/|All Rights Drooled Away. SIX GLORIOUS YEARS of cDc|