*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-PROJECTS PHOR THE BORED ANARCHIST-*- *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* BY: PROWLER SECTION I. (>ROADKILL CAN BE PHUN<) ROADKILL IS POSSIBLY THE MOST USE- FUL THING IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. CON- SIDER IT'S PROPERTIES: IT SMELLS BAD, IT LOOKS BAD, IT CAN BE EASILY CONCEAL- ED (THAT IS UNLESS IT'S A ROADKILL HORSE OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT!). 1. STUFF ROADKILL IN MAILBOXES, CAR'S GLOVE COMPARTMENTS, GENIE MACHINES, NIGHT DEPOSIT SLOTS, OR ANY OTHER CONVENIENT OPENING. 2. GIFT WRAP SOME ROADKILL AND SEND IT TO YOUR FAVORITE PERSON. BE SURE TO GIFTWRAP IT IN SOMETHING WITH FLOW- ERS OR HEARTS ON IT. 3. LEAVE SMALL ROADKILL STREWN ABOUT IN YOUR LOCAL MICKEY D'S (MCDONALDS)OR WHATEVER RESTAURANT YOU DON'T LIKE. 4. WRAP ROADKILL IN FREEZER PAPER, AND SECRET IT INTO SOMEONES FREEZER MARKED "ROAST", OR "BURGERS". 5. PUT ROADKILL IN SOMEONE'S WELL, OR CISTERN. 6. COMBINE DIFFERENT TYPES OF ROADKILL TO MAKE YOUR OWN NEW CREATURE. TAKE IT TO YOUR SCHOOL, AND LEAVE IT SOME PLACE WHERE IT IS SURE TO BE FOUND. --------------------------------------- SECTION II (>POOLS<) HAVING A SWIMMING POOL IS POSSIBLY THE BIGGEST WAY TO ASK TO BE ATTACKED BY EVERY SELF-RESPECTING ANARCHIST AROUND. 1. PISS, SHIT OR PUKE IN THE POOL. 2. LEAVE SOME EXTREMELY LARGE ROADKILL FLOATING IN THE POOL. I DON'T MEAN GROUNDHOG, I MEAN BIG, LIKE A HORSE DONKEY, OR COW. 3. POUR DIFFERENT COLORS OF DYE IN THE POOL. 4. PHUCK AROUND WITH THE THERMOSTAT. 5. PUT ROADKILL IN THE POOL'S FILTERS, THIS WILL CAUSE THE ENTIRE POOL TO SMELL AWFUL. 6. INVITE EVERYONE OVER TO YOUR POOL PARTY AT THE VICTIM'S HOUSE, PREFERABLY ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON. --------------------------------------- SECTION III (>LATENIGHT PHUN<) DON'T YOU JUST LOVE TO SNEAK AROUD AT NIGHT WHEN EVERYONE IS ASLEEP? YOU CAN DO ALMOST ANYTHING AND NOONE WILL KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING. 1. PLAY MAILBOX, WHERE THE GUY WHO MANGLES OR STEALS THE MOST MAILBOXES WINS THEM ALL. 2. DO KIDDIE HALLOWEEN STUFF: SOAP WINDOWS, THROW EGGS, ETC... 3. GET A BB GUN AND SHOOT THAT DAMN DOG THAT ALWAYS BARKS AT YOU. BE SURE TO SHOOT IT ABOUT 30 TIMES, TO INSURE MAXIMUM EFFECT. 4. TURN ON EVERYONE'S OUTDOOR FAUCETS. WHEN THEY GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING, THEIR YARD WILL BE A SWAMP. 5. BREAK INTO YOUR PHAVORITE SCHOOL. SEE WHAT THERE IS TO STEAL. IF YOU CANT FIND ANYTHING, TRASH THE PLACE! 6. HAVE A CONTEST TO SEE WHO CAN STEAL THE MOST INTERESTING ROAD SIGNS, LIKE COX ROAD, DIX LANE, ETC... --------------------------------------- SECTION IV (>POP MACHINES<) HAVEN'T YOU EVER WONDERED HOW HOW A POP MACHINE WORKS? THEY CAN BE REAL FUN WHEN YOU'RE BORED. 1. REMOVE SOME OF THE PUSH BUTTONS, AND PLAY WITH THE STUFF BEHIND THEM. YOU WILL FIND THAT COINS DROP. 2. PUT A BIG BOMB UP IN WHERE THE POP CANS GO. 3. GET SOME OF YOUR PHRIENDS, AND A TRUCK. STEAL THE SONOFABITCH, 99% OF THE TIME, NOONE WILL STOP YOU. 4. JUST MANGLE IT TO THE POINT WHERE IT IS NO LONGER ANY GOOD FOR ANYTHING EXCEPT SCRAP METAL. 5. GLUE ONE OF THE BUTTONS DOWN WITH SUPER GLUE, NEXT TIME SOMEONE PUTS IN MONEY, IT WILL GIVE THEM THAT. 6. CRAZY GLUE ALL THE BUTTONS UP SO THAT SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO USE A SLEDGE HAMMER TO PRESS IT. --------------------------------------- SECTION V (>CARS<) CARS CAN BE FUN, IF YOU'RE NOT THE OWNER OF THE VICTIMISED VEHICLE. 1. PUT SOME GRAVEL BEHIND THE HUBCAPS, IF THE VICTIM IS NOT TOO MECHANICLY INCLINED, THEY WILL THINK THEIR CAR IS PHALLING APART. 2. CUT ALL THE WIRES (DASH, SEATS, ETC) IN THE ENTIRE CAR. 3. PUT MOTHBALLS IN THE GAS TANK. THIS WILL CAUSE THE VICTIM'S CAR TO SUDD- ENLY HIT SPEEDS ABOVE MACH 12. 4. GIVE IT A ONCE OVER: PAINT REMOVER ON THE HOOD, SLASHED TIRES, DENTED PANELS, SMASHED LIGHTS, ETC... 5. PUT CRAZY GLUE IN ALL THE LOCKS, THEY'LL NEVER GET INTO THE CAR. 6. STEAL THE LISCENCE PLATE AND REPLACE IT WITH ONE OF THOSE LITTLE LISCENCE PLATES YOU FIND IN BOXES OF HONEYCOM CEREAL. --------------------------------------- RAISE SOME HELL! --------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU SAY THAT I TOLD YOU TO DO ALL THIS. 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