::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::: Candy Fun :::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::: :::: :::: --] Man-Tooth [-- :::: :::: presents :::: :::: :::: :::: A Passage From The "Candy" :::: :::: Chapter of George Hayduke's :::: :::: :::: :::: UP YOURS! :::: :::: (a.k.a. REVENGE) :::: :::: :::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: This one may take some getting used to, and you may not even want to read it...it's pretty yucky. But it came in and is sworn to as true by the perpetrator. It shows me how far people will go when they are frustrated or screwed over by someone else. Our source here is a man who wants to call himself The Phantom fromWhitman's Samplers. You'll see the cogency in a moment. Mr. Phantom got fired without cause by his very rotten boss,but only after the young employee had set up a system ofaccounting which would save the company a lot of money. Afterthe employee set up the system and explained it, the boss firedhim and turned it over to his wife to operate. Wives don't have tobe paid, I guess. Mr. Phantom's revenge was, ahh, sweet. Here's his story. "My ex-boss was having a party for some of his equally crassfriends. I decided to send along a present of my own 'homemadecandy' which I had an ally, a friendly bartender, slip into the party.I made sure my present was all done up nicely in a WhitmanSampler box with real candy. Here's how I prepared that gift. "Several nights before the party I ate six ears of corn fordinner...nothing else. Later that evening, I ate two apples (agreat source of pectin). The next morning I moved my bowels intoa plastic bag. I allowed the feces to dry in the sun for two days.Wearing rubber gloves, I cut that dried block into small squaresthe size of cherries. They were semihard with whole kernals ofcorn running through them, a decidedly disgusting visual effect. "Then, I melted four large bars of milk chocolate in a doubleboiler, and, not unlike a fondue, I gently covered the feces pieceswith the delectable milk chocolate. "When they were dry, I wrapped each one in the golden foilthat the original chocolate-covered cherries come wrapped in. Ifilled the box and resealed it." According to Mr. Phantom, the bartender said the "gift" wasdevoured for a few moments until one guest finally spit out apiece of "candy". Within two minutes, there was not enoughbathroom space to accomodate eighteen gastrically ill guestsinvoluntarily intent upon regurgitating. X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699 The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674 Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560 "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X